Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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