I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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