booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
