In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize