Who wears a wallet chain?!
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
