question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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