Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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