we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
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