Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
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