I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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