just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
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