DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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