with your own penis?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
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I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
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Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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