we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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