whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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