this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
My cat gives me a boner
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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