it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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