I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
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The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
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His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
i believe in u and ur pee
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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