im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
