Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
you would pick up someone in the library
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
