hotel room ftw
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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