I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
