they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
