My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
We just shotgunned beers for America
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
