oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Randomize
