Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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