I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize