So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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