Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
