its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
