It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
