my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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