i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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