so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
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A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
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Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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