i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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