I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
