I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
My dick has a subreddit
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
