i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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