best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
