Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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