whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
