i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
