No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
