I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
