i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
