Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize