Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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