I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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