i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just gift wrapped bread.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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