your thong is hanging out like whoa
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
