: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
