BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
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i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
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So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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