So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
