had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
