I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
