I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
