you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
