I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
