Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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