I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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