so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
